I am soooo busy talking to all my dear people on msn. hehe. =)

messaging babyboo, annoying leo, jx, xinyu, and not getting replies from ian. BAH.

but it's fun. i enjoy talking to myself very much..

in fact, in a conversation with myself today, i decided that i quite like the term babyboo. so from now on till i get sick of it, i shall babyboo cliff!!!! muahahahahaa!!!

babyboo.....

ok. to everyone (yes, i am assuming i am THAT popular) who wishes to date me... I will be back on 5 dec 2006!!!


YUP! and i am spending 3 long months in Singapore! My sunny island!!!

partying, working, and loving.



and although i used this phrase so many times before, i have to use it again because it is so apt.

THE BITCH IS COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!soon...

been reading random blogs, and remembering random bits of the past..

couples i knew that were so happy

i still have pictures of one couple.. meant as a birthday present.. then i got lazy... postponed it till christmas... then next year's birthday... then next year's christmas.. it's been 3 years now.. the stack of photos lie under my dressing table in singapore.. it's time to dump it all... cos there were quite a few happy couples in that picture.. and all of them are no longer.. it really really scares me..

when you witness the start of an amazing relationship, then lose contact and all that's left of the relationship is what you read when you're busy stalking as another faceless identity on the world wide web.. and then one day, the amazing thing is no more..

i hope i don't offend anyone here.. i just regret not being a better friend and not being there when things happen.. i just regret drifting apart.. yes, i always think of you my friends, but i get lazy and i don't contact you as much.. then i lose notion of what's going on in your life.. i apologise to all my friends out there that i have not contacted for a while.. i still love ya!!

how do you know i love ya?? i send you random messages out of the blue!! to remind you that i'm still around and you're not forgotten!!!

and on the relationship part? it's the first time i've been in one for so long.. and stayed happy for equally as long.. and right now, i don't see us falling apart anytime soon. right cliff???

breakups scares me, scar me. whether or not i wanted it in the first place.

i don't like breakups... who does..

1) Put your music player on shuffle
2) Press forward for each question.
3) Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4) NO CHEATING!!!

The questions and my answers:

1) How am I feeling today?
Back to your heart- backstreet boys


2) Where will I get married?
here in my heart-plus one

(whoever they are. I don’t even know how this song got in my nano!!!)

3) What is my best friend's theme song?
I don’t wanna fight- westlife

(HAHAHAHHA!!! Xinds!!! Your song!!!)

4) What is/was high school like?
say goodbye Hollywood-eminem

(once again, I donno how the hell I have this song…. CLIFF!!!!! All your fault!!!!)


5) What is the best thing about me?
gone going- black eye peas

6) How is today going to be?
just lose it-eminem

7) What is in store for this weekend?
we are the champions-green day

(reminds me of xinmin.. GO JAGUAR!!!!!!!!! And as always, go sharma!!!)

8) What song describes my parents?
to the moon and back-savage garden

9) How is my life going?
girl in the mirror-britney spears
(narcissistic bitch, that’s why!)


10) What song will they play at my funeral?
feel-robbie Williams

(talking bout this guy.. brings old memories, and new ones.. and once again, I think this came from Cliff… )


11) How does the world see me?
U + Ur hand- pink

(erm…. Hmmmmm…..)


12) What do my friends really think of me?
heart without a home-westlife

(my heart has a home k!!!)


13) Do people secretly lust after me?
naughty girl-beyonce

(*winkwink*)


14) How can I make myself happy?
all that I am-rob Thomas

(whoever he is..)


15) What should I do with my life?
my happy ending-Avril lavigne

(yes, i think happy endings will be nice.. but no endings even better)


16) Will I ever have children?
pop-‘n sync

(HAHAH!!! Popping them out like a sow!)


17) What is some good advice?
weird world-backstreet boys
(that’s very true…)

18) What do I think my current theme song is:
sway-michael buble

(I love this song!!!!)


19) What does everyone else think my current theme song is:

When I’m gone-eminem

(knn…..)


20) What type of men/women do you like?
role model-eminem

(my kinda role model; smokes, drinks espresso, and reads literature al lat the same time!!! *swoons*!!! The other kind? Well she’s a genius!! She’s perfect in every single thing! The girl you’d wanna bring home to your mama!!! =p loves of my life!)

21) Will you get married?
I have a dream-westlife

(yes.. I have a dream…. Which I hope becomes reality!!!!)


22) What should I do with my love life?
Dirty Diana- Michael jackson
(ooooooooo………… so….. the shower’s not an option???)


24) Where will you live?
easier to run- linkin park

(travel the world in a caravan for a coupla years then settle down and pop babies! Haha!)

25) What will your dying words be?
fall to pieces- avril lavigne

(erm….. no thank you.)

oi!! don't laugh at the old school songs i listen to!! it's called reminiscing!

people who read, have some fun, humour me... do this if you're free!!! =)

Gracie's blog always makes me wanna runaway from hotel school and go do medicine. i wanna be a gynae!!!

and all the medical shows that i love and watch dosen't help either.

maybe one day.. when i am relatively old and married with kids in their teenage years... i will go back to school... maybe medical school... maybe.. just maybe..

for now i will satisfy my urge to help hurt ppl by applying as much first aid (i am a certified first aider!!!) as i can, reading about gracie's life, and watching........

grey's anatomy
all saints

i can't remember the rest but i think there is at least one more!

i think i am pretty prepared for beverage.. tho i have no idea whatsoever is study-able for the management bit...

oh well. whatever.

ask me all about wine, beer, champagne, spirits and liqueurs.

i can tell you everything about it! =)

every single step! my favourite is champagne..

methode champenoise.. with all it's frenchy words like dosage and remuage... and the disgorgement and popping out the lees.. soaking the bottle neck in brine solution..

i can't wait for tomorrow!

Dear Est,

i would have written this in your comments if only you had them.. but you only have pathetic chatboxes. BAH. how can you??!!!

i remember those two years very well... (including the first 3 months of not liking you hysterical laughing thing!)

2 years in a shit hole. looking like shit, studying (not) in shit, putting up with shit teachers who told all his other classes we were shit after we left. (effing pathetic math department!!!) and facing shit situation every single day.. wanting the dreams that never came true.

and you know what? you're right. you'll never go down without a fight.. it's a good thing, and a bad thing. i remember the shit bits... but you came out of all that well.. veryvery well.

look at you know girl.. you're happy. that's most important.

look at us now sweetie, we are loved. all the love we wished we had? we've got it now and more.

the shit days are the days that make us wanna appreciate life more, and make us know that what we are getting now is priceless.

schemed ruthlessly only to realise there was no point?? there was a point. cos for that short few moments whilst scheming, there was a slight bit of hope. and malicious joy if our plan really happened. it helped us get by somehow..

i have to admit, sometimes i wished you'd just give up.. but then, if you did you wouldn't be you.

if it happened again? i think you'll fight again. because it's what you've got now is so much more worth fighting for then what it was before.

but i have a feeling.. that God put you through it once.. and He won't do it again.. i have a feeling.. that this one will last.. and go well.

i sincerely pray that my feeling is right.

you deserve to be happy. we all love you happy. (as long as you'll still bitch with me!)

Loving you lots esta cecily mariam small little mighty mousey leong en ling. ( i think.)

couple weeks ago.. i fell on a trestle... i have yet to show my bruise here... i was forcing everyone at work to check out my bruise. hehe. =/ i'm weird.. oh well.. i'm really proud of my bruise!!!


that night when i got home... it was turning really red...the next night.. it got dark purple!!!!
then it started fading.... which was kinda sad..
cool HUGE bruise yea?!!! =)



day out with dani coupla weeks ago...

and her really cute bald pooch... he's not ugly!!! i like him bald!!!
she convinced me to be social and meet her friends... so... yea... i kinda did after that... she tempted me with clubbing!!!


midnight madness after too many QFs.. (just me that went mad and giggly.. dani, was still sober. =/)




met mel and her boyfriend at bondi junction today.... that's her dress for the races.... prettypretty!!! it's GREEN!!! and yea.. i like my polkadotty one!!!


my new nails... which are still short and stubby cos i have to work... the fucking thai cheebye used an electronic file and fucking filed off some of my flesh can?!! hurts like fuck! never going back there!!! plus she chopped off my nails without saying or asking anything, and she was super unfriendly and rude. language barrier?? so what? she didn't even smile!!! hello??? you're in customer service you hag!!! when mel said something along the lines of she might get hers done, the hag looked up....

"you want do now?? book now!" (viciously and forcingly)
mel: nah.. not today.. (p[olitely and friendly)

fucking hag glared at her and filed harder at my flesh.

with this kinda service, no one will ever come back.

why did i do my nails there? stupidity. only word that can decribe it!

anw, the acrylic feels like 20 layers of nail polish.. but i'm getting used to it.. and i kinda like it more and more... (only because i went home and shaped it properly myself cos old hag did them unevenly and i didnt want her filing off anymore of my flesh!)
this is before.. slightly longer than what it is now, but kidna untidy... and very chipped...

your royal fatness cassan. yes. i know. shuddup benjy. it's bad angle and bad hair!!! this is me and nat studying at gloria jeans... leng zai barista wasn't working at that time... no motivation!! hahaha!


exams soon.. starting on haloween.

I WANNA GO HALOWEEN PARTY!!!! I WANNA DRESS UP!!!!!!!! xinyu!!!weiying!! est!!! guan!!! sarapeanutbutterBCMCCF!!!!!! i really wanna go with you girls... NYJC party or momo or wherever... i miss you girls...

and...... happy advanced birthday mommy... i have yet to send your card out! heh.

I’m feeling relatively depressed again. Maybe it’s that time of the month, maybe it’s not. I am suddenly sick of being miss bubbly, sick of smiling and being polite and civil all the time. But I know I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and smile again. Why? I don’t know

Lynnette Tan used to tell me that when she’s sad or angry, she sleeps. And she forgets everything when she wakes up. That idea grew on me and now i kinda work the same way too. So yes, tomorrow I will wear the happy mask again. Whether or not I actually feel happy, I do not actually know myself. Confusion

I wanna talk about my plans for the next 5 to 6 years, and currently, the only people person I’ve talked to about it is Xinyu.

Let’s outline it here just in case there is anyone who is reading this is interested.

If you are not interested in my life outline, then just close this browser now. I’ll understand, it’s just boring old me.. nothing much, nothing interesting.

Within the next 5 to 6 years:

Get a degree, speak Japanese fluently, and be able to speak Greek and French moderately, work in Hayman Island, America’s Disney Cruise ship, Japan. Yes, I know it means a lot of time away from Singapore, but if I don’t do all that when I can, I never will. And I do not wish to spend the rest of my life regretting.

These thoughts are still pending.. will always be pending till the day it actually happens. it might happen, it might not.

I wanna travel the world. I might just go back to the air stewardess plan in the end.

–shrug

Suddenly. Don wanna go home, don wanna stay here.

maybe i am more than relatively depressed. time for piercings? no. no time. no excess kyashu.

deprivation and abstinence.

You know, I’ve always enjoyed getting letters in the mail.. been like that since a kid. Even if it’s crap that insurance ppl send, I get excited. The world just dosen’t do snail mail much now.. It’s sad. Ppl don’t bother anymore. I make do with emails nowadays. But the age old favourite, will always be snail mails.

I freak myself out sometimes. I start imagining shit situations.. I think est might understand.. I need to stop. Stop rambling. Stop thinking.

Stop.

I saw 2 very pretty purple bedsheet sets I really wanted to buy for est. But it was damn expensive.

Time to start meditating again. Buddhism. Mantras. Calm the soul.

No, not a foot-washing-anything. Don’t think I ever will be.

just read most of the newface related blogs.. well, essential ones anyway.. like angelia's blog, and some of those that she linked, peggy and ann, which i can't be bothered to link because i'm a lazy fug..

ANYWAY. jealousjealousjealous. they have such pretty dresses! we had boring black... =/

oh well.. haven't been very updated with the newpaper newface 2006, but glad that it went well.. and it makes me nostalgic....

i miss newface.. miss the exhilaration, miss people painting my face, doing my hair, miss the runway...

i know, i'll always be the fat one, if anyone even remembers in the first place, but the fat one had her fun!!! =)

whether it was everyone telling to lose weight, or just smiling my ass off.. i had one of the best experiences in my life..

you know what? i might just lose some weight and join a couple more competitions just for fun!!! =p

then again, losing weight means eating less and i'm really way too addicted to my chocolates!!! ladida.

i miss newface 2005 girls!!! gwen, belle, conelia, dympna, rachel, fawziah, shikeen, sophie, emiko, tab and everyone!!! i miss rehearsals... i miss daniel!! miss the madness..

and did i mention i miss the runway?

yes. too short, too fat, but i love the runway. lovelovelove it!

it's been a year since newface05, but guess what? i can still be found on google!! wheeeeee!!!!!

i shall attempt to make the girls come out for coffee when i'm back! girls, if you happen to read this, let's go out coffeeing and shopping in december k??? =)))

just for old time's sake....
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knn. i don have newface pix on my lappie.....

sigh. back to work and studying and the beach.

doing my tax returns finally... feel so.... grown up. eek. but it's good. i can get money back!!! wheeeeee!!!!!!!

i used to be mostly antisocial... and these few days i am been desperate for some company.. and i am extremely excited about meeting dany's new puppy tomorrow! the poor fella has been shaved BALD! hahahahah!!! i will put pictures of baldy up when i get them! =)

anw, i gotta sms cliff... shit... then call cliff.

cliffcliffcliffcliffcliffcliff!!!!

it's mostly about him. =)

love of my lifeeee!!!!

Bestfriends in Sydney, 21st - 30th September 2006


Day 1: Chinatown and Darling Harbour

We found a street named VALENTINE, and we had too much dimsum... 15 or 20 dishes between the two of us i think... and..... gramma's house...

yokers: eh. must take pix with my gramma's house leh... it's the prettiest on the whole street!!! right?? right???

xinds: yalayala. take la......

yokers: **beams!!


china town.. the official chinatown gates and lions.. and...... xiao fei yang huo guo!!! a few days later, we found that a brand on some packaged food with the same name; small fat goat steamboat!!


darling harbour. i don't know why but i insist on taking pictures with/of the flamingoes each ime i'm there. =) and guess what?? xinds spotted the blackbird restaurant.. and we spent 5min laughing over "orh jiao".


cutting up our oporto's chicken. yumyum!!!! did i mention i ate half a chicken by myself a couple weeks ago??? that chicken went straight down to my ass. =/

oh. and shiraz rose, jacobs creek. bad... bad.... does not go well with xinds and yokers!


Day 2: Paddington mark
my school, and the humongous hotdog from paddington's.. that was so good.... i made xinds walk miles to look for paddington's... =p


Circular Quay after the markets.... tooks heaps of photos.. =) xinds taking pix of the opera house and harbour bridge, and xinds holding up the bridge with her hand.. heh.


photog credits goes to both xinds and yokers. the sky was absolutely gorgeous!! the weather was beautiful!! i wish i could bring that all back to singapore with me!!!!!


our havaianas.. and xinds's excitement over the sign outside the pub...


us in the botanical gardens, where this artist was so fascincated by our antics he came over and wanted to draw us.. naturally, we refused. we're shy...... *burst into large laughter and farts and burps*

i told you we took heaps of pictures..... how could we not?? pretty girls, heavenly sky and new green leaves. Awesome!!!


the sepia and b&w look so old school.. plus the fact we were in stripes and dots!!! i seem to really like my stripes, and her, her dots... even our bikinis.. i was stripey and she, dotty.


bestfren loving....

and i rolled down the hill. twice. it was so much fun!!!


Day 3: Paddy's Markets at Flemington

bought heaps of fruits and vegetables super cheap there.. another thing i love about australia... the fresh fruit and vegetable markets... =)

the wind was super strong that day!!! super heavy me felt like flying away!!!


dinner.. food always tastes best in good company!!! we can cook!!!! our kids are gonna be lucky kids!!! laksa and rockmelon sago and lemonade... oh... but i flattened my egg while trying to peel it... =/


Day 4: The Rocks and Bondi junction

a different angle of the opera house... and one of the trainstations, "edge cliff". the word cliff got me all excited!!! heee... then it was bondi junction for some much needed shopping, and we got tights!!! how aussie can you feel in tights and havaianas!!! weetweeeeet!!!!

Day 5: East Gardens

we were looking throught the pictures when we noticed what the sign at UNSW was saying.. hahahaa. how coincidental!! i swear we didn't plan it!!! peanut butter gelato, and the 4 course chinese dinner.. soup, roast chicken, combination beancurd hotpot, and fruits. nice and cheap!


Day 6: Fish Market

fish market... lovelovelove!!! at closing time when i ask for 1/2 lobster mornay, 1 oyster mornay and 1 stuffed prawn, and i got 1/2 lobster mornay, 4 oysters and 4 prawns... for $19.50. and 3 soft shell crabs for $3, and a hell lot of salmon sashimi for just $7. i hope heaven is something like that!!!! plus the walk down the deck and the pretty aboriginal boat! ideas for our 21st party!!!

and of course... krispy kremes. i still can't believe that woman made me eat krispy kreme for breakfast the next 3 days.


read the captions. strawberry and chocolate. what more do i have to say?! so much i got sick of eating it.. and i'm still finishing up the curry....


Day 7: Bondi beach, nudity, and Devil Wears Prada

the wind was soooooo cold..........


but the sun was nice and hot!!! i burried xinds!!! and i pounced on top of her!!! i love these pictures so much!!!


tell me i'm a good photog!!!! i love the pictures so much!!!!! yesyes, narcissicism. well, life is short and this is my blog. and all the pictures were so nice i couldn't decide so i put them all up!!!


someone said i looked like a washboard. if only. hahaha. the bikini did not flatter me, and stretching always makes the tummy look flat. whatever. i like the top still. and i love the pictures!!! =)))


first row: xinds smilling happily as she checks out the boobs, and me looking in shock!! hahaha.


pretty dresses, cute dresses, and xinds looking super sultry and sexy in one.. (i didn't put the super sexy one up.. you might get a nose bleed!!) fashion parade after the movie..... yokers loves xinds so much!!!

Day 8: studying at gloria jeans and dimsum and shopping

the night before she leaves.... all dresssed up, and studying in gory jeans.. (no spelling error, it's an inside joke!).. then shopping as usual and parading new black dresses!!! lovelove girl!! i miss you so much!!!


***only 8 days as the real first day, she reached at night.. and the last day pictures i have yet to upload. =)

i really need to sleep cos i haven had enough sleep for the past 10 days and i need to be at work at 7am tomorrow morning..

BUT

i need to blog else i can't sleep. i'd love to say it out instead but it's so much easier controlling myself writing it out then saying it.

the past 10 days has been the best 10 days this entire semester. i had my best with me and life was normal again. i was cassan. i went out, i did nothing, i ate alot, i shopped, i walked alot, i went places i haven't been before. and best of all? i did it all with my bestfren.

in the 10 days, i got my internet, i fell asleep with someone next to me, i watched grey's anatomy every night (we finished season 2!), i got laughed at when i burped or farted, and i laughed at someone else's burps and farts, we made fun of everything, we talked about everything, we talked ourselves to sleep everynight, i went to the beach, i took at least 500 photos, i had fun, i enjoyed myself, i felt warmth everynight, i mooned her everytimei changed.

and now she's gone back.

my room feels empty without her blocking my way all the time, table looks empty with only one lappie, left side of the room looks empty without her suitcase, sounds empty without her voice, her burps, her farts, her whining, her whinging, and it's darker too... cos she'd turn on the lights everywhere she went. and the toilet is much dryer cos she's not there to wet the entire floor when she washes her face.. and i can't smell my shampoo much cos somehow, the scent stays better in her thick hair than in mine.

i miss laughing at our burpfarts, i miss pounding our chest and pointing, i miss talking to you, miss sleeping with you, miss brushing teeth with you, miss peeing with you, miss walking around with you, miss taking pictures with you, miss checking out boobies at bondi with you, miss looking out for bargains with you, miss eating with you, miss almost getting locked in the shopping centre with you, miss drinking easyway with you, miss buying all that cheap vegetables and fruits at the markets with you, miss drinking shit rose shiraz with you, miss swearing with you, miss doing everything with you babe. miss you so damn much..

i everything you bestfren..

so yea, bestfren if you're reading this right now, i miss you so damn freaking much. i am finally starting to emo.. and i'm emo-ing really bad.

6 weeks for you babe, till you go back to singapore... maybe 10 for me... maybe.. we'll see...

my birthday.. i was still in my uniform when daddy surprised me with the super delicious cake!



me. narcissist me. on my birthday. my favourite day in the year. don't EVER steal limelight from me on this day, i swear, i will remember it always. i repeat. DON'T.
alexandra's birthday.. ages ago..
gramma's birthday...
mit's birthday...
vintage wines on gramma's birthday... damn were they good!

my birthday.... green bag from yiwen... i really like the bag!!! but i was makin a face at cliff. =)
my portrait... how........ sweet. it was delicious!
reading the beautiful card poster thing yiwen made.. i'm gonna post it here when i can!
everyone checking out yiwen's handicraft!!
with love from cliff......
me: why the hair so curly??? n y the boobs so small??!!!!