On intentions and uncertainties. On knowing the uncertainties, and choosing to ignore it.

There is the knowledge that no matter how intent you are on marrying someone, there always lurks the uncertainty. Uncertainty that he may not be the right partner, that he may fall for someone else, that you may fall for someone else, that accidents may happen and you may lose each other, that parents may disapprove, that you might get sick of each other, that future is unknown and anything can happen.

That “intent” does not relate to just marriage alone. It relates to anything. An intention to do/achieve anything! Maybe that bachelors degree that everyone wants. Maybe you might get side tracked and get your education informally through road trips and guilt trips and such instead. Maybe you might decide that acting is your talent and your talent gets discovered and you get instant fame and you don’t need a bloody degree anymore! Maybe some rich old man falls for nubile young you and he dies leaving you an inheritance that will keep you more than satisfied for the rest of your live! Maybe you discover your sexuality and spend your life fucking as a living.

All I’m saying is that, no matter how intent and focused we are on achieving something, there is always the possibility of the unknown. Some people choose to put the unknown aside and just concentrate on their intent. It does not mean that they do not know about the unknown, it just means that they choose to ignore it.

It’s like, running really fast, aware of the risk of falling down and injuring yourself, but you still continue running because that it what you want to do.

That is a short term metaphor. Long term wise, think of it this way: We are all going to die, the uncertainty lies in whether we die sooner, or we die later. But do we not all strive to make a better life for ourselves despite knowing the fact that we may die any day?




This post almost did not make it because of one call.. Cos i write better when i'm depressed.. (which is why i think lots of writers are depressed and tormented souls. i mean, who in a normal state of mind would churn out stories like hannibal eating guts or brer rabbit and his friends talking?! ) But I forced myself to sit down and write this, because I am in a serious mood, and this is one of the things I feel strongly about. Just so that you know, that call changed a lot of details of this blog. It was supposed to be presented in a third party manner, but I forgot all that I wanted to blog the moment you called.

Loving you lots and lots. (I’m still deciding between the white or blue stone! =p)