Sunday, October 31, 2004

happy birthday mom!!!! =>

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

fine.
so i'm a dumb fuck.
the com is still virus-y.
blah.
AND YOU'RE A BONOBO!!

Trip to S.africa, as compared to first prom and sec sch gathering.

i'd choose the former, if only my passport was valid, and i had the moolah.
blah.

YOU ARE A BONOBO!!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

blah. tio virus.
bloody virus eventually stopped me from entering my desktop.
had to reformat, BEFORE I HAD OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE ALL MY STUFF!!!

F U C K !!!!

blah.
so i lost all my chat logs, my pix, my poems, my lyrics, my songs, my weird horoscope stuff, my compos, and all the rest. dammit. I LOST ALL MY MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bursts into tears*

damn technology and all the eat-finish-nth-to-do idiots who came up with all these viruses.
argh.

i want all my stuff back........... sob.
bye baby. u were lost too. =<

and i'm supposed to be studying. haha.
i was busy fixing my com.

yes, only one thing to be proud of: i did everything myself.
that includes getting the virus, and geting rid of it, and fixing the com.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I'VE GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!


gee... that was quick.

i rmb first 3 months at sr.

meeting yanjun and mandy who were so enthu as to scream with me.
then there was leo and pk, who screamed with us.. did they..? i can't really rmb.... haha.
then there was the camp fire!!!! and "F4"!!!! wahahahaa.... and daryl was running ard, and leo ran out to kiss him!!
then we were jumping ard and kicking ard.. singing and cheering "nehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehneh"!!!!!!!!
then it was off to mac for ice creams and stupid jokes.
"1 is barbie doll, 2 is the table, 3 is the mirror, what is 4?"
daryl joined us at mac. it was there that i knew him, before that, he was just this joker trying to do the sch dance for a forfeit. hahahaa..he looked so cute!!!
got to know stef only on... cant rmb, it was when proper school started.
khay wee too. wasnt all that acquantainted till we went shooting and the bbq.. i think. haha.
dosen't matter. what matters is that the 8 of us made friends, and i'm glad we remained friends!!

then it was orientation at tpjc.
i rmb me, pk, deehui, ming hui, and another guy whose name i forgot. heh.
then i left the sch at ard 10. i think.
the second day at orientation, me, pk, forgotten-name-guy left ard 10 again. haha
appeal to NY got thru, dragged pk there, he appealed, we got thru!
(pk stinks after bball!! ahahhahahaaa!!!! then again, who dosent.)
then it was eating pizza at NY. the only part of the orientation i attended.

school started. i was in the same class as esther. -pukes-
but look at us now?? i love that little mouse!! ahahahaa
and time flew past. it really just flew past.
i rmb almost half the class skipping chinese!! hahahaa...
i hated mr kooi, i learnt to respect kooi.
i hated econs, i still hate econs.
i failed gp, i rised to the top suddenly, and i'm at the middle.
i went in loving lit, now i'm sick and tired of everything.
walking thru the library looking for llamas and apes.
the school was like a zoo! haha, llamas and apes and mouses and rats!!
i miss the library.

and now, it's all over.
i'm out of the school i never liked..
out of the place where the ppl i love or can't stand meet at everyday.
byebye people. i love y'all.

it's exams first, then university.
then the real world.
frankly, i'm scared.
scared of what is to come.




stay with me.. walk thru this journey with me... will ..?





brought my tie to school, tho i never got to wear it.
never got to go to my favourite classroom for the last time.
made miss chew tear. that was nice. cos she had just said,"i'm not gonna cry today..."
i'm gonna miss seeing miss chew.
she made me tear with what she said. she's one genuine teacher. i love her.
i'm proud to say i was the first outta the hall after tthe ceremony!! haha.
rushed down for food! wheeeee!!!!!!!!
gracie kissed me!=>
i kissed ginny. haven seen her for ages. then i kissed joanne.
then i couldnt find gracie to kiss her. blah.
GIRL SCHOOL GIRLS ROCK!!! hahahaaa.. (tho i was only there for 6 years =>)

i love you all. so much.
and though i can't say i love ny, at least i don't hate the place anymore.


i'm a schooless kid now. =>

God bless the sick boy, let him get well soon. Amen.



Monday, October 11, 2004

check out this webpage: imh.com

you just might identify with some of the symptoms!! =>





decided to do what ginny did.. random thoughts, musings and lyrics right now.




1. my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like; it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours; i could teach you, but i have to charge

2. crazy in love

3. FUCK!!!! argh.

4. sin2x = 2sinxcosx

5. let me do that dirty dance with you; money, shake that sexy body, i just want a nasty girl; now tell me if that nasty girl's in you

6. where are are you now?

7. silence. fuck silence. fuck you.

8. kidnapping and murder and tragic car accidents.

9. in kindergarten, a stinky boy bit my arm real hard. i just stared.

10. BOOBANANABORINGBOINGYBLUEBALLSBLAH

11. make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and break away

12. i'll spread my wings and learn how to fly; tho it's not easy to tell you goodbye.

13. i've got real horny friends. lol

14. i wanna be a gynae.

15. oligopoly is the singlish way of saying oli attends a polytechnic.

16. in monopoly the firm is the industry.

17. i miss *you

18. NANA!!! FIX UR COM!!!!

19. d'ya think xinyu is in sch??

20. i betcha sheryl is still sleeping! haha

21. I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy; Just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty

22. cry me a river i'll cry you a river.

23. alcohol treatment; the podium beckons

24. get tangled up in me.

25. weiying is staring at my com. she's not studying anymore. she is tired.

26. i live in my dreams, sometimes, i scare me.

27. the toenails, on the other hand, never grow at all.

28. pimple faced, thwarted mind.

29. what are *you doing?

30. do you mind spending everyday, out on my corner in the pouring rain?

31. when someone kisses your right cheek, offer your left as well.

32. y'all go learn chinese, y'all go speak chinese

33. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind; Up in here, up in here.

34. i refuse to give up; refuse to give in; u're my everything

35. on this point, as on all other points, i am firm.
Psychosis is not a specific illness, rather it is a syndrome. The central characteristic of psychosis is a loss of reality testing, resulting in some degree of impairment of judgement. The psychotic state is evident by the presence of disturbance of perception, such as hallucinations or disturbance of thinking, such as disordered thinking and delusions.
Even before the onset of the florid symptom characteristics of psychosis, a person may show some disturbances during the pre-psychotic or prodromal phase. Some of these symptoms include:

-Perceptual disturbances such as feelings that things around have changed

-Mood disturbances such as anxiety, depression, mood swings, irritability and anger

-Cognitive disturbances such as poor attention and concentration, difficulties in thinking,
suspiciousness and unusual beliefs

-Behavioural disturbances such as change in sleep and appetite patterns, social withdrawal, loss of interest in things, deterioration in occupation and academic functioning.

Different people will probably interpret these disturbances differently. Some may see them as symptoms of stress, especially if the changes are associated with some stressful life events. Others may see them as part of the person’s personality. Cultural influences may also play a part in how the symptoms of psychosis might be interpreted. Psychotic symptoms are often attributed to supernatural causes rather than biological causes. The personal understanding of the disturbances will determine the help seeking behaviour. Even for those who suspect that it may be a mental condition, the stigma of seeking psychiatric help may deter them from consulting a psychiatrist. It is not surprising that there is often a long delay, sometimes even a few years, before the person reaches professional help.

General practitioners and counsellors may be the first contact point for the person or his family to raise concerns about the person’s change in behaviour and functioning. It is important to have a high index of suspicion in order to pick up cases of possible psychosis and refer them early for further evaluation and treatment. This is especially so if the person exhibiting prodromal symptoms has these associated risk factors:

-A positive family history of schizophrenia or psychotic disorder, especially among first degree relatives

-Vulnerable personalities such as those with schizotypal personalities

-History of occasional brief symptoms of hallucinations or delusions




hmmm..... sounds familiar. =>

Sunday, October 10, 2004

foie gras and crab bisque. i still don't like foie gras.

kangeroo steak. n did i mention kangeroo steak? it don taste like chicken, it taste like beef, only richer, like venison. words can't describe the exquisite tastes. *slurps*
and the tuna!! not out-of-the-can tuna, but nice red tuna, that looks uncooked. yuck. but tastes heavenly!!
and pork belly that's so tender it almosts melts in your mouth.

cocktails and wine, both red and white.
makes my meal any day =>

creme brulee!!!! the perfect dessert. sweet and fattening!
baked pineapple and vanilla. delicious.

Doc Chang's at Raffles,
where service charge is absolutely justified.

the ambience is lovely too..
Raffles hotel is indded a Grand Old lady,
great architecture and interior design.

fine dining makes me a happy girl,
and my God-brother is older then my father. lol.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

kimmy treated me to breakfast. haha!! finally got my treat!!
and cos i had a gd start of the day,
i had a G R E A T rest of the day! =>




today i met the love of my life.

i saw him at the busstop.
he turned in my direction with a grin on his face.
at once, my knees buckled,
i thot i would die right there and then cos my heart melted.

his bus came, and i followed him up.
i din bother to check the bus number,
i just wanted to be close to him..
so i sat right next to him.

he fell aslp after awhile,
so i could observe him without getting caught..
he was a typical chinese boy,
yet he was so different.

his lashes were long,
coal black against his fair skin..
his eyebrows were thick and dark,
his bottom lip was invitingly full.

i drew a picture of him as best as i could..
i drew him in my lit txt book..
then i settled down to read boring jane austen,
and suddenly, JA became interesting.

all this while i took sneak peeks
at that lovely boy by my side..
i couldnt help but grin to myself.
darn. i looked like an idiot!

then suddenly he stirred,
he opened his eyes lazily..
and looked ard in a daze,
then reached out to press the bell.

i shifted to make way for him..
inhaled the scent of his cologne as he passed.
watched as he made his way to the lower deck,
scooted to the inner seat and felt his warmth penetrate my body.

i looked out of the window,
and he turned to look for me.
i just knew he was looking for me.
he smiled, and gave a little wave..

as he walked away,
i blew him a lil' kiss..
i know it's not the end,
i'll wait there till i see him again.



Monday, October 04, 2004

ok. i'm a happy kid now.
-grin-

sincere apologies dearest blog, for my earlier profanities. =>
ok. i just feel like fucking swearing. nabeh cheebye. kanina. what the fucking hell am i doing up so early?? cos i'm in the fucking school. i'm NOT fucking going for maths. forget it and screw off. econs might be a thought, then again, i'm fuckin pissed at econs and everything to do with it at the moment, so econs can go screw itself in the ass too. yup. i've got basically nth betta to do till 9.40, which is lit, which is currently not very appealing either. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKIN STAYED HOME N SLEPT!!!!! lanjiao. n as of today, i officially H A T E the ugly mother fuckin neighbours. they fucking saw me coming down the stairs but din bother to wait. i was less than 5m away from the lift and they closed the door on me!!! !@#$%^&* chao cheebyeS.
(this is getting boring. i need to brush up on profanities.)
bloody rotting apples and dead fish smell-alikes. (tianbao pls stop staring. it's rude to read over ppls back. =>) i cant stand the whole lot of u!! the irritating little pests running n screeching at the corridor, interrupting my beauty sleep, i wanna feed u expired chocolate laced with rat poison. u annoy the shit outta me. i don't give a fucking damn that u don't like me, cos get this u little bastards, i dont like u either!!!





ok. i'm feeling better. but i still hate exams, schools, competition and the likes.
it ruins the minds, screws up friendships, induces conflicts.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

my lil sweetiepie was really cute last night.
she was throwing tantrums cos her bottle had no more water n she was thirsty.
guess what she did?
she managed to knock he bottle out of the holder onto the floor,
creating a din that made me go calm her,
at the same time realising that she was annoyed cos she had no more water to drink.
sometimes i wonder what i'll do without her...
noone to talk to, noone to fight with..
noone to cajole..
and noone to jump up n bite my ass.
i love my lil sweetie. =>
i grieve, yet dare not show my discontent
i love, yet am forced to seem to hate
i dote, yet dare not what i ever meant;
i seem stark mute, yet inwardly do prate;
i am and am not - freeze, and yet i burn.
since from myself, my other self i turn.

my care is like my shadow in the sun-
follows me flying, yet flies when i pursue it,
stands and lives by me, does what i have done.
this too familiar care doth makes me rue it.
no means i find to rig it from my breast,

till by the end of things it be supressed.

Some gentler passion steal into my mind,
(for i am soft and made of melting snow)
or be more cruel, Love, or be more kind,
or let me float or sink, be high or low,
or let me live with some more sweet content,
or die and forge wha love e'er meant.