i read through my old blog that i had not touched for 2 whole years..
2 nov 2004 1.04am
maybe one day, i will find someone who will accept me.
who will love me.
who will want me despite me.
who will tell me he loves me,
every morning noon and night.
found him. =)
there are so many reasons why he's so perfect, and i can never finish saying them all. dear friends, if you're sick of hearing it, i'm sorry. but i can't help it.
he is so perfect. perfect for me. =)
and in that old blog. that feelings that haunted. that what ifs and if onlys.
it's over. i'm glad it's over.
to a certain extent, glad it happened.
cos all things happen for a reason.
and if all that didn't happen, i wouldn't have found cliff.
this is my last post for the year 2006.
(the year with the least number of posts. i promise to do much better next year!!!)
i thought it would be a hard year.. but i got through it and pulled through with good results. At the same time, i strenghthened my relationship with both my BFs.
my first year overseas, coping with a new family, new environment, new school, new culture, and not having the most important people in my life with me physically. emotionally wise, they were with me every single step i took.
Thank you God, for a great year.
Thank you BFs, for yet another year, and let there be many more years to come.
End your year with a positive thought.
Think of someone that has done something terrible against you.
Now think of something good that has come out of it.
then try for the rest of next year, to forgive that someone based on the something good that came from the terrible thing he did.
just for thoughts:
who is the last person that you'll think of before you die?
the one who hurt you most, or the one who treat you best?
the one you were madly in love with, or the one who was madly in love with?
will you remember the pain, or the laughter?
Dear 2006,
Thank you, and Goodbye!!
Friday, December 29, 2006
from xinds's blog:
"I reckon people think of the past because it was an unfulfilled love. You think of something which was not whole and how it would be a fulfilled love when all the 'what ifs' and 'if only' have been included. But that does not mean that you want to trade the present for the past."
how very very very true.
read xiaxue's blog. on how girlfriends always flock towards the boyfriend's group of friends instead of the other way round.
another true but sad fact. like some innate animalistic masochistic thing where the girl follows, and the guy leads.
when i was the only girl attached, i tried to spend the big days with my girls, cos i didn't want to neglect them, or break the tradition that we were all used to, or disappear and spoil their fun, or make them think that i didn't care about them anymore. then the others get attached, and they start to drift. and then at some point of time, you realise that it's fine to leave your group of girls on such days, cos they've all pretty much left as well anyway.
one day, i'll have enough money to have my own house. with a large porch, a pool, and a nice back yard.
large porch for the cars, pool for entertainment, and the backyard for the gatherings. friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, everyone. just bring your own alcohol, and have potlucks and bbq.
it'll cater for all the events. no more headache on where to go. every big day, cassan's place!
(PS. no puking allowed. pukers should stay home like losers.)
sorry, i take that back. i'm a puker occasionally too. heh.
"I reckon people think of the past because it was an unfulfilled love. You think of something which was not whole and how it would be a fulfilled love when all the 'what ifs' and 'if only' have been included. But that does not mean that you want to trade the present for the past."
how very very very true.
read xiaxue's blog. on how girlfriends always flock towards the boyfriend's group of friends instead of the other way round.
another true but sad fact. like some innate animalistic masochistic thing where the girl follows, and the guy leads.
when i was the only girl attached, i tried to spend the big days with my girls, cos i didn't want to neglect them, or break the tradition that we were all used to, or disappear and spoil their fun, or make them think that i didn't care about them anymore. then the others get attached, and they start to drift. and then at some point of time, you realise that it's fine to leave your group of girls on such days, cos they've all pretty much left as well anyway.
one day, i'll have enough money to have my own house. with a large porch, a pool, and a nice back yard.
large porch for the cars, pool for entertainment, and the backyard for the gatherings. friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, everyone. just bring your own alcohol, and have potlucks and bbq.
it'll cater for all the events. no more headache on where to go. every big day, cassan's place!
sorry, i take that back. i'm a puker occasionally too. heh.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
when dusty died, it was sudden.
she was perfectly fine that morning, but when i went home that night, she was lifeless and had ants crawling around in her ear.
with hamy, it's different.
first it was his right eye. it popped out, then it turned cloudy, and now it's all shrivelled up.
like a rotten grape.
now the same thing is happening to his left eye.
he's running around still, not as lively as before, but still a little active. he's still eating.. so that's good. "he's such a good boy!" the vet said.
but he's dying. and there's nothing i can do but to keep him comfortable till he goes.
he's about 13 - 15 months old now.. they say dwarfs don't live as long..
i'm sitting here and watching him die. yet he does not behave like someone who is dying.. he's fighting!
maybe he'll make it after all.. just maybe. i just hope he's not in pain.
all i want for christmas.. is for him to feel happy again.
if it's easier to die, then i'd rather he go.
Dear God,
you're taking another one of my precious away, again. he's a good boy. you'll like him.
Amen.
she was perfectly fine that morning, but when i went home that night, she was lifeless and had ants crawling around in her ear.
with hamy, it's different.
first it was his right eye. it popped out, then it turned cloudy, and now it's all shrivelled up.
like a rotten grape.
now the same thing is happening to his left eye.
he's running around still, not as lively as before, but still a little active. he's still eating.. so that's good. "he's such a good boy!" the vet said.
but he's dying. and there's nothing i can do but to keep him comfortable till he goes.
he's about 13 - 15 months old now.. they say dwarfs don't live as long..
i'm sitting here and watching him die. yet he does not behave like someone who is dying.. he's fighting!
maybe he'll make it after all.. just maybe. i just hope he's not in pain.
all i want for christmas.. is for him to feel happy again.
if it's easier to die, then i'd rather he go.
Dear God,
you're taking another one of my precious away, again. he's a good boy. you'll like him.
Amen.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
do you ever wonder what animal heaven looks like..?
chinchilla heaven will probably be a cool place.. because that's the kind of temperature chichillas like. lots of seeds and all types of their favourite food everywhere.. like raisins! there will be pretty wheels spinning everywhere.. but the wheels won't be stationary.. they'd be mobile.. and it'll go anywhere the chins want to go. and there'll be... steps of different heights.. because they like jumping around.. and cosy little tree houses for them to sleep in.
i hope my ham dosen't die.. i lost chin early.. i don't want the same to happen to ham..
chinchilla heaven will probably be a cool place.. because that's the kind of temperature chichillas like. lots of seeds and all types of their favourite food everywhere.. like raisins! there will be pretty wheels spinning everywhere.. but the wheels won't be stationary.. they'd be mobile.. and it'll go anywhere the chins want to go. and there'll be... steps of different heights.. because they like jumping around.. and cosy little tree houses for them to sleep in.
i hope my ham dosen't die.. i lost chin early.. i don't want the same to happen to ham..
Monday, December 18, 2006
my first week in singapore....
i have not met with anyone really... i should start meeting everyone...
28 dec, cygnus??? if you guys are free????
and i need to start working. seriously.
read the last page of the new paper just now.. that guy was going on about how china has no talents and hasn't won much..
like, HELLO??? china as a country may not have won much but tao li, and the table tennis girls, are all china born. yes, they may be singaporeans now, but they were born and bred in china! without them, we'd have nothing.
count your blessings mr person-who-wrote-that.
i have not met with anyone really... i should start meeting everyone...
28 dec, cygnus??? if you guys are free????
and i need to start working. seriously.
read the last page of the new paper just now.. that guy was going on about how china has no talents and hasn't won much..
like, HELLO??? china as a country may not have won much but tao li, and the table tennis girls, are all china born. yes, they may be singaporeans now, but they were born and bred in china! without them, we'd have nothing.
count your blessings mr person-who-wrote-that.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
i am coming home tomorrow night. and i will be in singapore for a day. then i'm going to bangkok. those who want to catch me, try after 10 dec please? cos on the fifth i need to do the more important stuff.. like.. waxing myself from head to toe. my eyebrows are so bushy i can't see properly. my legs are so hairy i can't tell the colour of my skin anymore. my... AHEM. is so overgrown that i can't zip my jeans. and my armpit hair is so long that i plait it (yes, and i tie it up with pretty red and white polkadot ribbons) so that it won't tickle people's noses or arms on the bus. Oh. and did i mention? the other day a huge spider fell on my arm. within seconds, it disappeared into the fuzzyness of my arms and i souldn't find it. today, i saw it drop out when i showered- the spider got strangled to death by my hair.
just kidding.
(Thank you God for making me hairy, but not THAT hairy)
today i read a funny caption on a mug...
"Yes, Jesus loves you, but i'm his personal favourite."
i wanna be a santarina too. i'm jealous!!!!!
but i don't think i can keep up with the shaving armpits thing. wearing a tube daily scares me... BUT I STILL WANNA BE A SANTARINA!!!!!!
anw,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST WEIYING AND SHERYL!!!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANI!!!!!!!
just kidding.
(Thank you God for making me hairy, but not THAT hairy)
today i read a funny caption on a mug...
"Yes, Jesus loves you, but i'm his personal favourite."
i wanna be a santarina too. i'm jealous!!!!!
but i don't think i can keep up with the shaving armpits thing. wearing a tube daily scares me... BUT I STILL WANNA BE A SANTARINA!!!!!!
anw,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST WEIYING AND SHERYL!!!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANI!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
random pictures from my mobile, from the newest to the oldest...
say... MYSPACE!!!!!! hahaa.
lenotre's beautiful creations... i actually saw them piece the eifel towel together, piece by piece!!!! all the intricate artwork... molding the chocolate, melting, then sticking it together!!!! absolutely breathetaking!!!
and the chocolate flower thingie. sorry the picture is kinda blurred, i was so delirious with the amazing sights i went... limp. erm. sounds bad. hehe.
the fog one morning.... i couldn't see my park, and i couldn't see much further ahead of me.. made me think of literature.. i forgot the name of the book suddenly... but it was of mary and edwards and foghorns. family torn apart by love they were physically and emotionally incapable of articulating.
dani and me; gourmet chocolate shopping... feast your eyes on the chocolates we ate so much of that we felt sick. hehe.
seven reasons to eat chocolate... not that we need any at all...
pretty purple tree!!! i saw it and thought of estee!!!! i can see her taking wedding photos at this very spot, under the purple tree, on the wooden bench, with purple thingies floating slowly to the ground!!!!
i really don't know what it is.. it might be the flowers....
innovation. music from glass bottles...........
and music from upside down tubs. the guy won the extreme right was not part of the band. he was a passer by... who started tapping on a tub, and one of the band member passed him the drimsticks. super cool!!! and it wasn't noise they made, but pure music!
hidden footage from xinds and yokers in sydney. first night together!!!
i donno why dani is smiling. i fucking tied her head up so ugly!! and she did mine so nice and neat!!!
some french function at the hotel.. VVVIP. and we got painted with flags!!! =)
kris's expert driving the car into the hoist!
night out with colleagues... cassie, mel, and me.
and matt. who picked me up and swung me around. who is now a fitness instructor with fitness first.
girls watching movie on my lappie, in school. guess what movie..... hehe.
p a r i s h i l t o n h o m e m o v i e!!! hahahahahahaha. and i got a picture of them all. watching. porn. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
me and carol ages ago, dimsum outing.
dear sarah, enroll in my school. this is what lessons are about.. we drink alcohol. all sorts. =)
sighh.... prettypretty flavia.... i reckon german mixed girls are hot. cos flavia is french german, and she's gorgeous. this picture does not do her justice!!! and then there is annabelle. belle is german chinese and beauuuuutiful!!!
say... MYSPACE!!!!!! hahaa.
lenotre's beautiful creations... i actually saw them piece the eifel towel together, piece by piece!!!! all the intricate artwork... molding the chocolate, melting, then sticking it together!!!! absolutely breathetaking!!!
and the chocolate flower thingie. sorry the picture is kinda blurred, i was so delirious with the amazing sights i went... limp. erm. sounds bad. hehe.
the fog one morning.... i couldn't see my park, and i couldn't see much further ahead of me.. made me think of literature.. i forgot the name of the book suddenly... but it was of mary and edwards and foghorns. family torn apart by love they were physically and emotionally incapable of articulating.
dani and me; gourmet chocolate shopping... feast your eyes on the chocolates we ate so much of that we felt sick. hehe.
seven reasons to eat chocolate... not that we need any at all...
pretty purple tree!!! i saw it and thought of estee!!!! i can see her taking wedding photos at this very spot, under the purple tree, on the wooden bench, with purple thingies floating slowly to the ground!!!!
i really don't know what it is.. it might be the flowers....
innovation. music from glass bottles...........
and music from upside down tubs. the guy won the extreme right was not part of the band. he was a passer by... who started tapping on a tub, and one of the band member passed him the drimsticks. super cool!!! and it wasn't noise they made, but pure music!
hidden footage from xinds and yokers in sydney. first night together!!!
i donno why dani is smiling. i fucking tied her head up so ugly!! and she did mine so nice and neat!!!
some french function at the hotel.. VVVIP. and we got painted with flags!!! =)
kris's expert driving the car into the hoist!
night out with colleagues... cassie, mel, and me.
and matt. who picked me up and swung me around. who is now a fitness instructor with fitness first.
girls watching movie on my lappie, in school. guess what movie..... hehe.
p a r i s h i l t o n h o m e m o v i e!!! hahahahahahaha. and i got a picture of them all. watching. porn. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
me and carol ages ago, dimsum outing.
dear sarah, enroll in my school. this is what lessons are about.. we drink alcohol. all sorts. =)
sighh.... prettypretty flavia.... i reckon german mixed girls are hot. cos flavia is french german, and she's gorgeous. this picture does not do her justice!!! and then there is annabelle. belle is german chinese and beauuuuutiful!!!
Christmas shopping with nat... David jones has reqally nice decorations.. each of their display windows is set up to the theme of a different christmas carol.. i would have taken pictures of them all but the reflection so bad you can't see the display... so..... check out my reflection instead. =)
my favourite masks!!!! ON SALE!!!!!
Decoration at Myers...
my favourite masks!!!! ON SALE!!!!!
Decoration at Myers...
my school's end of year party which was a pathetically boring affair. fun cos i had nat and kate with me! they made the night much better!!! 
ahhh... my study buddy!!! =)
looking pretty and spying at gloria jeans across the road!!! haha!
nat's super nice shoes that i fell in love with!
kate's pretty heels..
my new shoes that hurt.
some of my school people...
and i have to mention this. I GOT DISTINCTIONS FOR ALL MY SUBJECTS!!!!!!!! and then i have to elaborate. because i only got credits for my assignments, i must have had done really really well (think high D!!!) on the final paper to have gotten my final score of distinctions. hehe. =)
well, that's one year down and two to go. i am officially a diploma holder, 4 years after graduating from secondary 4. sheesh..... i'm... OLD.
ahhh... my study buddy!!! =)
looking pretty and spying at gloria jeans across the road!!! haha!
nat's super nice shoes that i fell in love with!
kate's pretty heels..
my new shoes that hurt.
some of my school people...
and i have to mention this. I GOT DISTINCTIONS FOR ALL MY SUBJECTS!!!!!!!! and then i have to elaborate. because i only got credits for my assignments, i must have had done really really well (think high D!!!) on the final paper to have gotten my final score of distinctions. hehe. =)
well, that's one year down and two to go. i am officially a diploma holder, 4 years after graduating from secondary 4. sheesh..... i'm... OLD.
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