ben drives!!!!

girls gone wilddddddd
robin drives!!! and he's working on a ship!!!!
us on the screen at MOS...

yinsiu's mini celebration at the airport...
durians with jeanne!!
geylang geylang!!! and aunty with shakey hands...
i like opening durians!
topshoping..
jbing
kboxing..
girly loving..

self loving!
i was so pissed that night.... lapses in memory! but oh! what fun!!




free gelato!!swimming at the chalet
new hair cut, by stylist flown in from japan. Hajimemashite!!
the only people who kinda stayed...
the buses have pretty yellow seats!!!!!

these pictures were from ages ago... my first weekend back in singaproe during my winter holidays.... walawala with cliff and his friends..










here on are pictures of my second weekend... melvin's birthday.....



4 really cute piggies!! =p

BIRTHDAY BOY!!!!

promised pictures from ages ago!!!!


feet pictures on the ferry.. we seem to do alot of this!! =)

outside our pretty lil hut.. the stupid woman who showed us to our hut refused to leave till we gave her a tip!!! knn. and the smallest we had was $5. bloody hell....

our pretty hut!

registration... it seems to be the kinda atmosphere that the singapore zoo tries to achieve.. yet here everything seems so natural instead of fake..
First meal in bintan.. steak sandwich and pizza and calamari! the restaurant area looks really nice... very laid back..


near the bridge leading to out lil hut. looks like a veryvery old picture! heh.
me being silly.. but i really like the pool!
pretty view!!!!
cliff's arty farty shots!
more of cliff's arty farty shots!
that's cliff in the distance...
nice clear waters...
us in nice clear waters!
things to do in bintan: bury your boyfriend in the sand then tickle his toes! but first, give him boobs!!
check out my dick!!!
restaurant area... incredibly breathtaking!
erm... me playing with ketchup
veryvery clear water and white sand!!!
feet again!
huge ass chess board! est was there too!!! (as in she went there before la... )

just before boarding the ferry...

byebye manamana....... =)

sorry sonny, just that pathetic old me dosen't have internet access...

anyway, i've been trying to get a hell lot of things done.. that includes my drivers license, my new piercings, belly dancing lessons, stupid school, internet, and of course assignments.

i'm printing my driving handbook in school and getting evil glares as there are 132 pages.. hehee. i don wanna pay for the book!! hahaha. =p

piercings are done so far.. unless i decide to do the tongue (which i'll probably not cos i need to work....).. 2 new holes, for my 20th birthday!! one of them in a relatively sensitive area.. where the sun don't shine!!

signed up for bellydancing lessons this morning... i'm gonna start this wednesday.. NATIONAL DAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!! it's the first year i'm not gonna be celebrating national day in singapore.... =( kinda sad really.. and it's the last year the parade is held at the stadium.. double sad... i've only been to the national day parade twice in my life, triple sad!! and.... the twice i went were during rehearsals, not the actual thing.. quadruple sad!!!!!!! -bangs head jumps off building and cry-

so.... Cliff's got some duties on that day... let him represent and show my love for the nation i grew up in then... =) OHOHOH!!! i am gonna look for something red and white to wear to bellydancing lesson on wednesday too!! hehe. =)

Dear Singapore, for your birthday i'm getting myself bellydancing lessons as a present! maybe one year i'll perform belly dancing during the parade!!! woohoo!!!


(above is my lil bit of love for the small island that achieves big things. yes. i am a singapore PR and i'm proud of singapore!!! )

stupid school is and always will be stupid.

internet is on the way... VERY slowly.... but VERY surely!!!! =)

assignments?? i've started on everything.. and left it there.. heh. i'll do a lil more later....

i love everyone!!!!!!!!! *hugs and kisses**

ok. i lied. i don't love everyone. lotsa ppl i can't stand actually.

On intentions and uncertainties. On knowing the uncertainties, and choosing to ignore it.

There is the knowledge that no matter how intent you are on marrying someone, there always lurks the uncertainty. Uncertainty that he may not be the right partner, that he may fall for someone else, that you may fall for someone else, that accidents may happen and you may lose each other, that parents may disapprove, that you might get sick of each other, that future is unknown and anything can happen.

That “intent” does not relate to just marriage alone. It relates to anything. An intention to do/achieve anything! Maybe that bachelors degree that everyone wants. Maybe you might get side tracked and get your education informally through road trips and guilt trips and such instead. Maybe you might decide that acting is your talent and your talent gets discovered and you get instant fame and you don’t need a bloody degree anymore! Maybe some rich old man falls for nubile young you and he dies leaving you an inheritance that will keep you more than satisfied for the rest of your live! Maybe you discover your sexuality and spend your life fucking as a living.

All I’m saying is that, no matter how intent and focused we are on achieving something, there is always the possibility of the unknown. Some people choose to put the unknown aside and just concentrate on their intent. It does not mean that they do not know about the unknown, it just means that they choose to ignore it.

It’s like, running really fast, aware of the risk of falling down and injuring yourself, but you still continue running because that it what you want to do.

That is a short term metaphor. Long term wise, think of it this way: We are all going to die, the uncertainty lies in whether we die sooner, or we die later. But do we not all strive to make a better life for ourselves despite knowing the fact that we may die any day?




This post almost did not make it because of one call.. Cos i write better when i'm depressed.. (which is why i think lots of writers are depressed and tormented souls. i mean, who in a normal state of mind would churn out stories like hannibal eating guts or brer rabbit and his friends talking?! ) But I forced myself to sit down and write this, because I am in a serious mood, and this is one of the things I feel strongly about. Just so that you know, that call changed a lot of details of this blog. It was supposed to be presented in a third party manner, but I forgot all that I wanted to blog the moment you called.

Loving you lots and lots. (I’m still deciding between the white or blue stone! =p)

16 July 2006, early morning, somewhere in the sky


i am gonna post this as soon as i can...for some weird reason, i can't manage to get online on SQ's wireless, cos i don't have a credit card, and cos i can't remember singnet password!! grrr. i thought that paying $1230 for this flight ( out of my own earnings ok!! ) would at least allow for FREE internet connection. But what was i thinking. there is no free lunch in this world. The best i can do is to drink heaps of baileys, hopefully $1230 worth of baileys. Seriously, a bottle of baileys would cost about maybe... 50 bucks in the market?? i promise not to drink any baileys at all, can't i have free internet time instead?????

anyway, i am currently on a plane- SQ231, and my lappie batt is running really low. i had a truly enjoyable time in singapore- i spent lots of my time the way i've always wanted it.. with lots of my girls and my boys.. the best combination ever!! leonard called in the noon, jeanne messaged last night, cliff's mom called a couple of times, ginny messaged just now, sixiang messages, leng yeow passed a message thru wei an, i bumped into wei an at the airport- courtesy of ben, ben, sonny, yiwen, yinsiu, weiying, sheryl, xinyu, cliff and my mummy sent me off... i think it's the best sending off ever.. tho i cried the whole day.. =x i love these people with all my heart, and i hope this group of ppl remain.. always.. and forever.. =)


baby, i was watching she's the man just now.. the black guy and braces got together, and every thing ended happily ever after.. viola scored the penalty with the help of duke.. and it's gonna sound cheesy but she sent him a whole lump of cheese!!!

WILL THE FUCKING BITCH SITTING IN 65F STOP SHAKING AND BANGING THE SEAT??? I CAN'T EVEN TYPE PROPERLY AND YOU ARE FUCKING JERKING ALL THE WAY!!! seriously, i am gonna wait till she falls asleep then take my revenge. BITCH.


eh, dear BEST, 71 days till i see you, i presume it's about... 8 weeks... plus or minus. it's about 16 weeks till we're back in singapore... i can't wait!!!!! sigh. i love you miss best. without you, i won't have lots of my little luxuries.. cos i am too giam to buy it all.. and you and cliff know that... so you spoil me. thank you so much.


to the prawn fishing team, i love you all veryvery much...so sorry i farted a stink bomb in the car... AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. it was quite funny actually.. xinyu didn't want to open the car door despite my warnings... then.... she smelt IT!! muahahahahaha!!! so glad we caught all those prawns... XINYU CAUGHT THE FIRST ONE!!! and CLIFF CAUGHT THE BIGGEST ONE!!! AND WEIYING MADE XINYU AND ME OREO CHEESE BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!! WE LOVE YOUUU!!!!!!! and cassan fed the most prawns... =x


Dear boys and girls and mummy of mine, always know that no matter how low your life gets, there'll always be at least me, still loving you. you're beautiful, all of you! know your worth, and don't ever ever let anyone put you down. The only person who should ever be able to put you down is yourself.. and even then, i'll be there to keep you up. Be strong in all you do.. and may this special love we have last always and forever!


Cliff, did i mention? I don't wanna scare you but i can't see my future without you.. yea... =)

(Miss Best and other beloved friends, don't be jealous! you're my FRIENDS! and i'll never ever let you go!! )


i quote mei zhuo and xi men in meteor gardens, when they were talking bout when and if dao ming si will return to taipei.. if i'm not wrong, xi men said..

no matter how far he goes, he'll always come home, because all things aside, taipei is home.

similarly, no matter how many new friends we make along the course of life, we'll always return to the oldies.. because they're the ones we experienced the innocence, naivity and what's not of growing up with. Some memories can never be erased.. (unless you become senile, but that is another story..)



this is long winded cassan signing off.. =)

pictures should be up next week when the school's wireless is fixed... =) meanwhile, put up with my drawings pls.... =p

xinyu will be back in australia this........... thurs??? 20 july.

i finally ate my birthday cookiewhilst sitting infront of the heater. my God, it is the best place ever!!! which the heater blowing in my face.. VERYVERYVERY warm indeed!!!!!

Thsi is me with the heater blowing me. heh.


This is for entertainment purposes, a weird world!

i tried to blog earlier, but blogger was down...

i can't wait for the school's wireless to be set up!!!! =)

my tummy hurts...... alottt......... so many crampless years are coming back to haunt me all at once!!! grrr.

best- i did what u do alot today... i diarrhoead.... =/

a sydney weather update... it is so cold that my fingers are numb. yes, free aircon. but the sickening thing is you can't switch off this aircon. this is a ugly picture depicting me, and today. heavy rain, cloudy skies, puddles everywhere, me wrapped up in my school uniform with another sweater inside, (the sweater too thin!!) and the nice wooly scarf. it is so cold that puddles on the floor are freezing into ice blocks (in my opinion).

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XINYU VIDEO CALLED ME TO SING ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! so sweet can??!!!!!!!!!!

then the crybaby teared again.... =/

and last night at midnight, yinsiu called to sing me happy birthday too!!! =)

and then people like gracelina and yong jun actually remembered my birthday!!!! my gosh! i am a happy-cos-they-remember-but-sad-cos-i'm-not-in-singapore kid!!!








***********************edited 18 july 06

khaywee msged, yanjun msged, sophie (starhub) msged, esther, yiwen jeanne, ian, liuey, ginny all msged!!! =)))

happy me. =)

i have another post actually, but that can only come up tomorrow... cos it's saved in my laptop... and the school finally supports wireless broadband!

Thank God it's free!

You actually have to pay to use wireless on the plane.. i thought it came with thr ride!! =/




Happy Birthday to xinyu, 2 days ago... that was the night i left singapore....

Happy Birthday to me... poor lil' lonely kid all alone in sydney on her 20ld... It's kinda sad really.

You know sometimes when you miss something so much, you really feel this ache in your heart. suddenly your heart seems to pound really hard, it's this throbbing numbness that you feel. how can it be throbbing and numb at the same time you ask? i don't know. But when you feel it, you'll understand what i'm saying..

It really hurts.. i hope everyone back home is fine.. i love you all lots and lots!!

4e3 getogether. (i forgot how to spell ....... re...new...urn....)

quite a lot of people turned up.... it seems like nothing changed, yet so much have changed...

lots of us drove down, money isn't that big an issue now, lots of us have matured.. (like duh- it's been 4 years!!!)

but somehow we look the same... mostly.. huiwen lost soooooooooooooooo much weight... huiling has super long hair, and OH!!! lots of them have partners!!!! next getogether bring all partners along k!!!

and yesyes, I GREW BIGGER/FATTER/ROUNDER/HEAVIER/whatever other words.

i will lose it ok!!! bleah.




fuck. i just realised we didn't take a class photo!!!!!!!! fuckfuckfuck. how can i forget??!!!!! shit. fats corrupting my brain....





only ben, pn, xy, me (in order of age!) stayed.... so we slept very comfortably... felt kinda.... disappointed that more people didn't stay tho.... late night talks are always fun.. but oh well. we've all got our own lives and commitments now...

i guess.


Life must still go on, we're older, wiser, and next time we just won't need the chalet anymore. =)
it was good.. seeing everyone again.. =)

sorry i keep throwing tantrums..
i was bitchy, pissy, pms-y, over worked, and fatty.. it's an explosive combination.



for a while, i felt like a childish 16 year old brat again..

those were the days...

Singuan gave me a cd with 4 songs- she sang them herself!!!! and i believe she wrote them too!!!!


MY GOSH!!!! SHE IS EVEN BETTER THAN BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you so much my dear girl... i sincerely hope you'll get a contract someday!!!!! -HUGS-
i especially love the sarah song!!!!!! can u write a cassan song one day???? hehehe.

oh.. just one thing.. i had to pay so much attention cos my chinese sucks!! and i was trying to understand it!! =x

i love u girls so much.. enjoyed meeting u girls last night too =)))

the hair thing went quite well.... but there wasn't enough time so yuichi didn't cut my hair as short as he wanted, or as i expected =x

i'm gonna keep this hair for a lil while, then get it my ideal length.. it feels nice tho... getting my hair done by very experienced (and quite handsome) stylists flown in from japan. =)

My limited japanese got us nowhere.. hahaa. but simple english and sign language managed to convey that: YES, my hair is in your hands, cutcutcut whatever you want. =)

thanks for the oportunity trisha, i'll be back when i've lost 10kg!!!!!! (ok.. maybe not 10.. 5??)

did i mention??? i had so much trouble during the fitting cos they wanted us to wear bikini bottoms!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!! then i couldn't fit into the shorts... =X

but it ended pretty well i think.. =)

i meant to blog the moment i touched down on home soil,

BUT

i forgot the password to my blogger, so i couldn't get in.... then after that i couldn't be bothered till today. =)


i am loving life, loving cliff, loving family, loving friends, loving singapore.

i miss singapore soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!

still have lots of ppl to meet... but for now.... i'm a very happy girl...

walas with cliff and company the day after i came back, and we got happy and silly on beer and the band we didn't like... but seriously, the more beer you drink, the better they sound! heh.

then..... LADIES NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!! i misssss my ladies so damn much!!!! =)))

and you know what? almost everyone was there. xinyu sher weiying ginny jeanne singuan sarah yiwen... and xinyu dearest drove there.... we bumped into liyin there... AND I SAW JOEL TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy me.. meeting everyone in one place. hee. saw the chihwahwa too!!! tho i really think he looks like a chihwahwa, it's nice to see familiar faces from my childhood =)

and did i mention my dearie sherrie burnt me ith her ciggie??? grrr. i am scarred. you owe me for life girl!!! *muackx* MINEMINEMINE!!!! for life!!!! (and death) you can run but you can't hide. hehee. i missed you, welcome back. =)

sheeshhhh..... i keep bumping into ppl. singapore suddenly shrank.. lol. within this one week i've been back, i've bumped into more ppl than i ever have in a month!!

picked xinyu up with drawn-in-5-min banners, she stepped on my toe with her pointy boot.. grr. i love my best. deardeardearest best =)

picked yinsiu up with drawn-in-5-min banners and a birthday cake. Then xinyu n weiying n me stoned at the airport for bout.. 6 hours.... before heading off to chompchomp for dinner. AND I MUST SAY: WEIYING AND XINYU ARE DAMN GOOD DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!! sexysexysexy drivers!!!!!

i love them all. =)
(even more cause they all can drive me around and i can just bum hehe)