when dusty died, it was sudden.
she was perfectly fine that morning, but when i went home that night, she was lifeless and had ants crawling around in her ear.

with hamy, it's different.
first it was his right eye. it popped out, then it turned cloudy, and now it's all shrivelled up.

like a rotten grape.

now the same thing is happening to his left eye.

he's running around still, not as lively as before, but still a little active. he's still eating.. so that's good. "he's such a good boy!" the vet said.

but he's dying. and there's nothing i can do but to keep him comfortable till he goes.

he's about 13 - 15 months old now.. they say dwarfs don't live as long..

i'm sitting here and watching him die. yet he does not behave like someone who is dying.. he's fighting!

maybe he'll make it after all.. just maybe. i just hope he's not in pain.

all i want for christmas.. is for him to feel happy again.
if it's easier to die, then i'd rather he go.

Dear God,

you're taking another one of my precious away, again. he's a good boy. you'll like him.

Amen.