wait. my last post of the year.



GOODBYE 2004!!!!!!!!!
*muackx*
-hughugkisskiss-

lemme see. what so i have to say..
my brain (yes, there is one.) is not functioning properly, has not been functioning properly for some time due to the lack of sleep. =<
in other words, my complexion has gone from wrose to horrendous again.
and i have been coughing till i feels like my lungs are gonna fly out of my mouth. blah.

anw, yesterday, i had the nicest lunch since i started work. -grin-
a reallyreally nice lunch packed up in foil n delivered right to my workplace.
thankiew sooooooooooo much!!!
i noe my face din say much, but it was really good food k!!!!
don be too disappointed by my facial expressions.. the food was great. =>
so was the company. heh.
and thankiew for waiting a whole 3.5 hrs till i finished work too! hahaha
so... basically, yea. i had a great day. =>

steven is making me a happy kid. haha.
i can' really rmb why tho.. it's the first time i'm talking to him on msn and i'm actually enjoying it!! lolol.



element of challenge and adventure
a solitary siloutte above the waves



yea..may more ppl go in in January
so that the April guys have all da girls for 3 months!!




ahem...to quote
"absence makes the heart fonder"
i think, absence makes the heart fond to fondle elsewhere





hahahahhaa. this guy is good!!!!! lolol. =>
-yawn-
he dosen't know i'm quoting him!!! shhhhhhh!!!!



i'm hugging boobananaboringblueballs (that's the name of my carebear that xinyu gave me for
christmas!).. haha. he is very squashable indeed. =>


I JUST LOST TOMORROWS LUNCH!!!!! not fair. -sulk-
i want lunch u idiot!!!! not fair. -sulk-


in case u can't tell? i'm really bored. yes esther, i know you're esta n i'm really bored. yesyes... -yawn- i miss u small lil thingie!! hhahahaaa...



OHOHOH!!! xinyu!!! sheryl!!!! i got white chicks!!! it's movie time!!!!!!!! wheeeeeee!!!!!!!



i wonder what is mr chong doing. hmmmmm......

hmmm.
have been missing a particular someone.
am missing a particular someone.
a particular someone that i feel comfortable with.


bestie andy??? let's go for coffee.. like real soon?
i need to talk.. (u don't have to. i can do all the talking!! =>)
and i miss you too.



kim?? HE JUST SAID HE MISSES ME!!!!!!! hahahahahahah!!!!!
i miss you too kor. but i don like calling you kor.
haha. miss ya kimmie!!!

SOS- empty
zouk- $38
china black- $45

ended up at indochine. sex on the beach and a slow comfortable screw, with a kiss.
was eating practically the whole night.. burger king, then indochine, then swensens.
oh. then there was the foam attack.. i din know wheher to laugh or cry..
but tears came out anyway.. and then i laughed..

somehow christmas somehow summed up my whole year.
people who came along for the ride at the start, then dropped off half way, leaving the atmosphere somewhat.... quieter...
people who stepped in, changed my life, then left. but their presence is still felt. will always be felt.
people who drop a surprise attack.. then disappear, but yet keep coming back at intervals, leaving me at a loss as to what to do, and how to react.

i no longer want to remain the safety net. i want to be the one scaling the walls with you. and i don't want to settle for second place. i don't want to share. i don't want to hurt. i don't want to cry.

the truth hurts.. as always. cuts deep.. knowing that what you thought was all a facade, and the truth is that you were, to a certain extent, being used.

no longer in my corner, i am stepping out.. slowly.. but surely..
afterall, i just want to be happy.
and i just want you to have your peace.. to have your own share of happiness too.
there is always a listening ear here if you need it tho.

but only a listening ear. cos that's all that's left.
the rest you have burnt and destroyed. so there's nth left.
an empy soul perhaps, but always a listening ear.






Merry Christmas everyone. =>

merry christmas eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xinyu and sheryl and weiying are here now.
just had dinner... shld be going out soon.. tho i reallyreally feel like sleeping.. sigh.

had a lovely day yesterday.. heh. went to spca (which was closed =<), took 70 all the way to the end... ended up at some uluated place.. blah. then went back to suntec.. bough prezzies!!!!!!! then went for movie! => walked ard after that then went back home.. cos i had W O R K. blah. boring life..

and i'm a bored kid.... sigh. sheryl is staring at me. she denies it. hahaha.
that idiot was SITTING ON ME!!!!! (she says she's a retard, not an idiot. but idiot sounds good.)
hahahaa.... mad.

ok. yinsiu has arrived. time to change n go meet her.. bye people!!!!!!!!!

*muackx*

my com is dead my com is dead!!!!!!!!!

ya. that's the reason for my absence. i'm too busy with my mundane life as an office girl anyway. wait a minute, did i mention LIFE??? nono. i have no idea what to call it, i have no life currently. blah.

hey xinyu!!! u're back from japan!!!!! did u miss me???? cos i missed u idiot!! haha.. -big fat hug-

and sheryl quitted her job within 3 hours. i applaude you my dear, but seriously, that job is child labour! heh.

oh. my ego right now is so huge that i have trouble going through narrow doorways. -grin-

I WAS SELECTED!!!!! to represent the school. -grin- but i rejected them. heh. oopx. i just don wanna go up there and get criticised by people la.. hehe.. so why did i go to the audition in the first place? for fun. to prove to myself that i do not suck!!!! lalalallaaaaaaaa.............

and by now, i know you're saying: damn, her ego fucking big leh.. still happily write it out here that she got selected.. walao eh.... wanna slap her fucking fat face sia!!!

-grin- slap lor... heh. you'll only succeed in giving me a natural blush on my cheeks! (save makeup!!)

but seriously, it's like the first time in my life my ego blossomed immensely.. and everyone has their first times yea??

ok. on office life. it sucks.
politics everywhere. the bloody supervisor kbkb cos i keep taking half days off. no work stay for what?! at least i don't take money for nth k!! i finish my work and scoot!! HUR~

whatever. i got another audition to go for anyway. -grin-

then it's EBS with my girls!!! luv ya!! *muackmuackx* (mean girl style)

and gracie?? i can't play squash just yet.. but after christmas k??? *promise* haha.. we got all the time in the world... unlike the poor guys...

the guys have all disappeared!!! whisked off to the middle of nowhere by the loving and naturing government who want them change from boys to men! haha. ok. i'm crap. still, i hope they're fine and well!!!

and.. here's a tribute to the late Mr John Lim:

Dear Mr Lim,

you never taught me anything, but somehow, we could just start talking. and i'm not the kind who starts talking to strange teachers suddenly.. or strange people for that matter. you were just too friendly.. i want to use all the beautiful and big vocabulary to describe you, but the only word that comes to my mind now is "nice". short and simple, like you. (forgive the pun) a very nice and very simple but very helpful and very friendly teacher. you were an amazingly enthusiastic and encouraging teacher. i remember our last conversation; you said the school shld spend money on new rackets for floor ball, i wanted the money spent on a new track. i hope the school seriously considers setting up an official floorball team, for you. that's what you wanted, as i remembered.. whatever it is mr Lim, i sincerely wish that you and your wife are enjoying an everlasting honeymoon now.. May God Bless You.

love, me.

haven eaten so much for a long time.
cray fish and prawns and crabs and vegetables and fish and desert and mee goreng and... erm... cant rmb. whatever. i ATE. alot. =>

and after everyone finished eating, i was still happily eating! -grin-
once again, i prove myself to be a world class pig.
i eat, and i sleep! =>


oh.. received some threatening message in friendster.
reminded me of the secondary school nonsense i used to create.
tsktsk.. childish me... =/
nvm, i don do that anymore.. that's what matters! haha

hello there.
yes you.. the one reading this!!

haha. how is life??
good? great?? wonderful??
mine is mundane.
yea..

take care of yourself!! i'm b o r e d.
i miss studying at coffee bean.
ok i lie. i just miss coffee bean. i don't miss studying. =>

i think i shld start getting a life.
heh.

ttfn!!

happy birthday mom!!!! =>

fine.
so i'm a dumb fuck.
the com is still virus-y.
blah.
AND YOU'RE A BONOBO!!

Trip to S.africa, as compared to first prom and sec sch gathering.

i'd choose the former, if only my passport was valid, and i had the moolah.
blah.

YOU ARE A BONOBO!!

blah. tio virus.
bloody virus eventually stopped me from entering my desktop.
had to reformat, BEFORE I HAD OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE ALL MY STUFF!!!

F U C K !!!!

blah.
so i lost all my chat logs, my pix, my poems, my lyrics, my songs, my weird horoscope stuff, my compos, and all the rest. dammit. I LOST ALL MY MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bursts into tears*

damn technology and all the eat-finish-nth-to-do idiots who came up with all these viruses.
argh.

i want all my stuff back........... sob.
bye baby. u were lost too. =<

and i'm supposed to be studying. haha.
i was busy fixing my com.

yes, only one thing to be proud of: i did everything myself.
that includes getting the virus, and geting rid of it, and fixing the com.

I'VE GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!


gee... that was quick.

i rmb first 3 months at sr.

meeting yanjun and mandy who were so enthu as to scream with me.
then there was leo and pk, who screamed with us.. did they..? i can't really rmb.... haha.
then there was the camp fire!!!! and "F4"!!!! wahahahaa.... and daryl was running ard, and leo ran out to kiss him!!
then we were jumping ard and kicking ard.. singing and cheering "nehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehneh"!!!!!!!!
then it was off to mac for ice creams and stupid jokes.
"1 is barbie doll, 2 is the table, 3 is the mirror, what is 4?"
daryl joined us at mac. it was there that i knew him, before that, he was just this joker trying to do the sch dance for a forfeit. hahahaa..he looked so cute!!!
got to know stef only on... cant rmb, it was when proper school started.
khay wee too. wasnt all that acquantainted till we went shooting and the bbq.. i think. haha.
dosen't matter. what matters is that the 8 of us made friends, and i'm glad we remained friends!!

then it was orientation at tpjc.
i rmb me, pk, deehui, ming hui, and another guy whose name i forgot. heh.
then i left the sch at ard 10. i think.
the second day at orientation, me, pk, forgotten-name-guy left ard 10 again. haha
appeal to NY got thru, dragged pk there, he appealed, we got thru!
(pk stinks after bball!! ahahhahahaaa!!!! then again, who dosent.)
then it was eating pizza at NY. the only part of the orientation i attended.

school started. i was in the same class as esther. -pukes-
but look at us now?? i love that little mouse!! ahahahaa
and time flew past. it really just flew past.
i rmb almost half the class skipping chinese!! hahahaa...
i hated mr kooi, i learnt to respect kooi.
i hated econs, i still hate econs.
i failed gp, i rised to the top suddenly, and i'm at the middle.
i went in loving lit, now i'm sick and tired of everything.
walking thru the library looking for llamas and apes.
the school was like a zoo! haha, llamas and apes and mouses and rats!!
i miss the library.

and now, it's all over.
i'm out of the school i never liked..
out of the place where the ppl i love or can't stand meet at everyday.
byebye people. i love y'all.

it's exams first, then university.
then the real world.
frankly, i'm scared.
scared of what is to come.




stay with me.. walk thru this journey with me... will ..?





brought my tie to school, tho i never got to wear it.
never got to go to my favourite classroom for the last time.
made miss chew tear. that was nice. cos she had just said,"i'm not gonna cry today..."
i'm gonna miss seeing miss chew.
she made me tear with what she said. she's one genuine teacher. i love her.
i'm proud to say i was the first outta the hall after tthe ceremony!! haha.
rushed down for food! wheeeee!!!!!!!!
gracie kissed me!=>
i kissed ginny. haven seen her for ages. then i kissed joanne.
then i couldnt find gracie to kiss her. blah.
GIRL SCHOOL GIRLS ROCK!!! hahahaaa.. (tho i was only there for 6 years =>)

i love you all. so much.
and though i can't say i love ny, at least i don't hate the place anymore.


i'm a schooless kid now. =>

God bless the sick boy, let him get well soon. Amen.

check out this webpage: imh.com

you just might identify with some of the symptoms!! =>





decided to do what ginny did.. random thoughts, musings and lyrics right now.




1. my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like; it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours; i could teach you, but i have to charge

2. crazy in love

3. FUCK!!!! argh.

4. sin2x = 2sinxcosx

5. let me do that dirty dance with you; money, shake that sexy body, i just want a nasty girl; now tell me if that nasty girl's in you

6. where are are you now?

7. silence. fuck silence. fuck you.

8. kidnapping and murder and tragic car accidents.

9. in kindergarten, a stinky boy bit my arm real hard. i just stared.

10. BOOBANANABORINGBOINGYBLUEBALLSBLAH

11. make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and break away

12. i'll spread my wings and learn how to fly; tho it's not easy to tell you goodbye.

13. i've got real horny friends. lol

14. i wanna be a gynae.

15. oligopoly is the singlish way of saying oli attends a polytechnic.

16. in monopoly the firm is the industry.

17. i miss *you

18. NANA!!! FIX UR COM!!!!

19. d'ya think xinyu is in sch??

20. i betcha sheryl is still sleeping! haha

21. I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy; Just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty

22. cry me a river i'll cry you a river.

23. alcohol treatment; the podium beckons

24. get tangled up in me.

25. weiying is staring at my com. she's not studying anymore. she is tired.

26. i live in my dreams, sometimes, i scare me.

27. the toenails, on the other hand, never grow at all.

28. pimple faced, thwarted mind.

29. what are *you doing?

30. do you mind spending everyday, out on my corner in the pouring rain?

31. when someone kisses your right cheek, offer your left as well.

32. y'all go learn chinese, y'all go speak chinese

33. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind; Up in here, up in here.

34. i refuse to give up; refuse to give in; u're my everything

35. on this point, as on all other points, i am firm.

Psychosis is not a specific illness, rather it is a syndrome. The central characteristic of psychosis is a loss of reality testing, resulting in some degree of impairment of judgement. The psychotic state is evident by the presence of disturbance of perception, such as hallucinations or disturbance of thinking, such as disordered thinking and delusions.
Even before the onset of the florid symptom characteristics of psychosis, a person may show some disturbances during the pre-psychotic or prodromal phase. Some of these symptoms include:

-Perceptual disturbances such as feelings that things around have changed

-Mood disturbances such as anxiety, depression, mood swings, irritability and anger

-Cognitive disturbances such as poor attention and concentration, difficulties in thinking,
suspiciousness and unusual beliefs

-Behavioural disturbances such as change in sleep and appetite patterns, social withdrawal, loss of interest in things, deterioration in occupation and academic functioning.

Different people will probably interpret these disturbances differently. Some may see them as symptoms of stress, especially if the changes are associated with some stressful life events. Others may see them as part of the person’s personality. Cultural influences may also play a part in how the symptoms of psychosis might be interpreted. Psychotic symptoms are often attributed to supernatural causes rather than biological causes. The personal understanding of the disturbances will determine the help seeking behaviour. Even for those who suspect that it may be a mental condition, the stigma of seeking psychiatric help may deter them from consulting a psychiatrist. It is not surprising that there is often a long delay, sometimes even a few years, before the person reaches professional help.

General practitioners and counsellors may be the first contact point for the person or his family to raise concerns about the person’s change in behaviour and functioning. It is important to have a high index of suspicion in order to pick up cases of possible psychosis and refer them early for further evaluation and treatment. This is especially so if the person exhibiting prodromal symptoms has these associated risk factors:

-A positive family history of schizophrenia or psychotic disorder, especially among first degree relatives

-Vulnerable personalities such as those with schizotypal personalities

-History of occasional brief symptoms of hallucinations or delusions




hmmm..... sounds familiar. =>

foie gras and crab bisque. i still don't like foie gras.

kangeroo steak. n did i mention kangeroo steak? it don taste like chicken, it taste like beef, only richer, like venison. words can't describe the exquisite tastes. *slurps*
and the tuna!! not out-of-the-can tuna, but nice red tuna, that looks uncooked. yuck. but tastes heavenly!!
and pork belly that's so tender it almosts melts in your mouth.

cocktails and wine, both red and white.
makes my meal any day =>

creme brulee!!!! the perfect dessert. sweet and fattening!
baked pineapple and vanilla. delicious.

Doc Chang's at Raffles,
where service charge is absolutely justified.

the ambience is lovely too..
Raffles hotel is indded a Grand Old lady,
great architecture and interior design.

fine dining makes me a happy girl,
and my God-brother is older then my father. lol.

kimmy treated me to breakfast. haha!! finally got my treat!!
and cos i had a gd start of the day,
i had a G R E A T rest of the day! =>




today i met the love of my life.

i saw him at the busstop.
he turned in my direction with a grin on his face.
at once, my knees buckled,
i thot i would die right there and then cos my heart melted.

his bus came, and i followed him up.
i din bother to check the bus number,
i just wanted to be close to him..
so i sat right next to him.

he fell aslp after awhile,
so i could observe him without getting caught..
he was a typical chinese boy,
yet he was so different.

his lashes were long,
coal black against his fair skin..
his eyebrows were thick and dark,
his bottom lip was invitingly full.

i drew a picture of him as best as i could..
i drew him in my lit txt book..
then i settled down to read boring jane austen,
and suddenly, JA became interesting.

all this while i took sneak peeks
at that lovely boy by my side..
i couldnt help but grin to myself.
darn. i looked like an idiot!

then suddenly he stirred,
he opened his eyes lazily..
and looked ard in a daze,
then reached out to press the bell.

i shifted to make way for him..
inhaled the scent of his cologne as he passed.
watched as he made his way to the lower deck,
scooted to the inner seat and felt his warmth penetrate my body.

i looked out of the window,
and he turned to look for me.
i just knew he was looking for me.
he smiled, and gave a little wave..

as he walked away,
i blew him a lil' kiss..
i know it's not the end,
i'll wait there till i see him again.

ok. i'm a happy kid now.
-grin-

sincere apologies dearest blog, for my earlier profanities. =>

ok. i just feel like fucking swearing. nabeh cheebye. kanina. what the fucking hell am i doing up so early?? cos i'm in the fucking school. i'm NOT fucking going for maths. forget it and screw off. econs might be a thought, then again, i'm fuckin pissed at econs and everything to do with it at the moment, so econs can go screw itself in the ass too. yup. i've got basically nth betta to do till 9.40, which is lit, which is currently not very appealing either. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKIN STAYED HOME N SLEPT!!!!! lanjiao. n as of today, i officially H A T E the ugly mother fuckin neighbours. they fucking saw me coming down the stairs but din bother to wait. i was less than 5m away from the lift and they closed the door on me!!! !@#$%^&* chao cheebyeS.
(this is getting boring. i need to brush up on profanities.)
bloody rotting apples and dead fish smell-alikes. (tianbao pls stop staring. it's rude to read over ppls back. =>) i cant stand the whole lot of u!! the irritating little pests running n screeching at the corridor, interrupting my beauty sleep, i wanna feed u expired chocolate laced with rat poison. u annoy the shit outta me. i don't give a fucking damn that u don't like me, cos get this u little bastards, i dont like u either!!!





ok. i'm feeling better. but i still hate exams, schools, competition and the likes.
it ruins the minds, screws up friendships, induces conflicts.

my lil sweetiepie was really cute last night.
she was throwing tantrums cos her bottle had no more water n she was thirsty.
guess what she did?
she managed to knock he bottle out of the holder onto the floor,
creating a din that made me go calm her,
at the same time realising that she was annoyed cos she had no more water to drink.
sometimes i wonder what i'll do without her...
noone to talk to, noone to fight with..
noone to cajole..
and noone to jump up n bite my ass.
i love my lil sweetie. =>